Cookies

"In this scenario, I don’t think the Bible has much to say about how you buy cookies other than to buy and use the cookies in a way that honours God."

You have no idea how long I laughed at this sentence.

Dead

I feel so dead.

IF A GOD EXISTED

I would ask him/her/it why I am so bad at Tetris.

Religious hypocrisy

I have a problem with the hypocrisy of religion.

Observe:

"Love is a choice. Love often hurts. Choose to love regardless because it hurt Christ to love you. Funny fact, when you love like that, you'll probably also get hurt lol. Increase my faith Lord. Oh and after you get hurt, go back to Jesus for healing :) He will provide yo!"

"God is God through it all. God is good through it all. God is above every situation. Praise be to his name. Get me through God."

"Hey guys, I don't think I've been in this much pain for so long, please pray for healing! Even though this momentary affliction is temporary and fleeting, it hurts. Prayers would be muchhh appreciated guys =] Rev. 4:1."

These are excerpts of Facebook status updates from just one person in the space of two days. Needless to say, he does this a lot.

Facebook is a public forum, and clearly he is advertising his religious views here. In overkill. With every single status.

Let us think for a minute.

If an atheist did this with the same assumption of truth regarding the existence (or lack thereof) of an all-powerful deity (let's say, to a mixed audience), would he/she not be condemned by the religious of hubris, arrogance and lack of consideration for theists? Would it not be held in little esteem, instead rejected as crass and an attack against all religion? Why is it that it is socially acceptable for theists to advertise their views in public, and not atheists?

What's your opinion on door to door bible pushers? Sure, they are an annoyance, but still bordering on the fringes of social acceptance at the worst. Now, if a person decided to preach door to door about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is it that much of a stretch of the imagination to assume possible danger and abuse hurled at them by residents, screaming that they will go to hell?

An atheist may politely declare their lack of interest and close the door on bible-pushers (at least, I do - I don't really wish to generalise, but let's consider this on a balance of probabilities), whereas do you not think that if I were to go around saying God does not exist, theists would automatically begin defending their religion by attacking me with phrases condemning my lack of faith?

Can you think of any theists who would not do this?

Are they so paranoid about the relevance of their religion that they feel the need to convert everyone around them to think the same way?

Honestly, it sickens me - not religion (although I do feel it is counter productive and archaic in a progressive society, however everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I definitely do not wish to take this away), but the hypocrisy on which it is based.

To sum up: "A Christian wouldn't ever be expected to be silent about their views, and they would never accept being told otherwise, so why should I be treated any differently?"

However, I am confident that society is becoming increasingly secular and that perhaps in the future, religion will be reduced to merely an absurd, archaic, irrelevant superstition, similar to how witchcraft is held nowadays.

The holidays

Funnily enough, I was not expecting to be so socially active during these holidays. I've pretty much gone out every day these past two weeks, and I'm about to leave again in a few hours to Sony's.

All fun of course, but sometimes I feel like I'd rather just chill at home and sleep. How antisocial of me.

I'm so excited for formal and the afters. It's been way too long since I've gone out partying, and I miss it a lot.

The little bird that died of a broken heart

The most tragic real life love story I know did not take place between humans, but concerned two pet birds I owned about seven years ago.

You could tell they were extremely attached to each other. It was easy to see a sort of bond and harmony which existed between them. I hesitate to say they were two birds 'in love' because that just sounds whimsical, idealistic and fake.

My dad decided one day to build a little nest for them to roost in (really, it was a pile of hay and sticks he tried to shove into the cage). However, upon opening the door, the male bird flew right out and into the air. My dad immediately shut the cage so that the female wouldn't do the same.

Upon returning from school a few afternoons later, I found the female bird lying spread-eagled on the floor of the cage. She had refused to take in any food or water in the last few days. I tried to pour water into her beak, but to no avail.

She died a few minutes later.

I don't know why I decided to share this story. I don't even remember the birds' names, if indeed we actually named them.

Sometimes I wonder if the male bird is still alive out there, somewhere.

Literally 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'

Why do we yearn for what we can't have, or what might harm us?

Why do the victims of spousal domestic abuse stay with their partners?

Why is a little arrogance in a guy such an attractive trait to us adoring females?

The mental workings of humanity are often strange and unfathomable.

Overwhelming hubris, yearning for the unattainable, a quest for perfection: is this what the human condition is made of?

Am I rambling?

The weather is not very good today, but it's at least it's not hot.

In a bit of a strange mood.

COMMON SPELLING ERRORS PEOPLE UNFORTUNATELY MAKE:

you're/your
were/where
their/there
wonder/wander
els = else
abit = a bit
alot = a lot
wierd = weird

Crazy steam child

Steam is just a horrible, horrible little piece of software. I want to kill it with fire.

WHY WON'T YOU WORK, DAMN IT.

Happy accidents

There are so many times when I think back to something and just marvel at the coincidental sequence of events which made it happen.

How you think and act - your whole life - is a product of such occurrences.

For one, I would not have lived in Denmark for 3 months, obsessed about it, met people who now hold such an important place in my life, or indeed known anything about it, if it wasn't for a chance happening one day, an accidental bump in the street which started the entire thing. And now it's such a massive part of my life, a part of my definition of who I am.

I could have decided to take another route, or left 5 minutes earlier or later to get to my destination. It could have been another day. I could have watched where I was going and not bumped into anyone at all. However, no, this happened.

The sheer act of being born - what about the billions of other babies which could have been conceived by my parents instead? But I'm here, just one of the millions of different gametes continually released daily, weekly, monthly. And even then, for my parents, grandparents, et cetera, to exist, this exact same thing must have happened to create every single one of my ancestors, who would in turn create the next of kin for countless generations until we reach me. And you.

How do most people meet the person they then spend the rest of their lives with? A single day can change the course of our entire lives.

Now isn't that just something?

It's not destiny, fate, or the modus operandi of a higher power.

Why does humanity feel the need to create an explanation, exclaiming over the 'miracle of it all' - oh therefore a god must have done it! Well, no, if we weren't here, there would be other people in our place, who would undoubtedly also attribute their existence to the aforementioned higher power. The 'miracle' idea is illogical and completely redundant. Must there be a higher power involved? Why do we need this assurance? Are we so afraid of our discontinued relevance after death that we need to dream up some sort of afterlife for ourselves? Are we all so driven by mindless, arrogant hubris?

It's just coincidence. Nothing more.

14/11/11

Fun day today - tiring, though.

Went out with Sony and Sarah looking for a formal dress for Sony and a job for me. Handed in quite a few resumes, hoping for a reply soon!

Got 'Queer as Folk' from Sony to help me entertain myself these holidays. It gets better as the series goes on. I think I might get addicted before long. Honestly though, it's slightly reminiscent of a gay porn movie with an extended plotline..

Career vs. family: the million dollar goal

Considering the arduously intensive and difficult career path I have planned out for myself, I figure my life is going to end up being an ultimatum between the two, with no real middle ground.

The latter would make me far happier, but I also know that my obstinate, career-oriented nature will guide me towards the former. Quite a depressing thought.

It's really easy to say something like "then change the course of where you're going; you're still young, nothing's fixed" - but I know if I do that, I'll end up unhappier than if I stuck to law. I have to do it. I can't picture myself in any other industry.

Actually, I lied. I can picture myself in the entertainment industry, and in a perfect world that's where I'd be - but I don't fancy the thought of being broke all the time.

And how many people can consider law as their 'safety option'?

I should stop whining about this and just grin and bear it. Maybe in the end everything will magically sort itself out.

Stella's tips for success in legal studies and ancient history

This is my presentation outline to give exam/assessment tips the new year 12's.

ANCIENT HISTORY

- Plan

o For assessments: Each time I received a new assessment notification, I immediately began to plan my workload for each day in conjunction with all the other assessments I had at the same time. Year 12 is an extremely busy year and many of your assessments WILL clash, as much as 7 at a time. For example, in my diary the 25th of April 2011 read: 'Legal notes - half of crime syllabus, Ancient History - 350 words, English Extension Keats notes - La Belle Dame Sans Merci, Extension 2 Maths - start studying conics'.

o Exam essays: YOU MUST PLAN IN THE EXAM. THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME TO WRITE IN THE ANCIENT HISTORY EXAM. IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN, YOU PLAN TO FAIL!!!!


- Read widely

o The more you read, the easier it gets to connect the dots, esp. Rome. ALL ABOUT READING – concepts are not too difficult to get. READ.


- Share resources

o Use a RANGE of textbooks because often some things are not explained in detail in some books.


- Start studying early as ancient has lots of content but it isn't too difficult

o Don’t leave writing your notes to the end or you WILL end up in tears because there is A LOT to know and you WILL BE overwhelmed. Summarise after every topic, dot point, write notes to continually consolidate your knowledge.


- Smart, effective studying beats writing pages of unnecessary notes and wasting time

o Must realise you have to study for different topics in different ways, depending on format

o E.g. Pompeii is more focused on details of every day life, whereas Rome is more holistic due to the one broader question you will encounter where you make your own judgment -> you think more about cause, effect, why, how, what does this mean?

o Keep in mind whilst you’re studying + writing notes that it isn’t your job to story-tell events, but to use them to support your thesis. Don’t overstudy details or else you’ll never get to the end. Keep continually cutting down your notes as you know them.


- KNOW YOUR SOURCES! This is paramount. And from the beginning of the year, start doing practice essays that INCORPORATE SOURCES.

o Evidence table. Range of modern and ancient sources. I personally try to aim for at least one per paragraph.

o Know the major works that sources come from: e.g. Plutarch's Parallel Lives, Suetonius' Lives of the Caesars, Herodotus' Histories, Thucydides' History of the Peloponnesian War, Xenophon's Constitution of the Lacedaemonians ... you get the idea


- SCAFFOLD, SCAFFOLD, SCAFFOLD for the essay topics. Don’t write all full essays because it takes too much of your precious time. Go down the syllabus, write essay questions and plan in your brain, going down the list. Good practice for thinking on the spot during the exam.


Legal is pretty much similar. Except replace 'sources' with 'legislation/media/conventions/declarations'

An idiotic premise

Leads to an absurd conclusion.

Weeping for the future of humanity.

What is with the Adele hype? And other random musings/updates.

She's a great soul singer, but really the composition of her albums seems to be lacking in some way, in some element (well, with some notable exceptions, of course). I don't know what it is exactly about them which strikes me as plain.

I've been doing a little light job hunting to occupy myself these holidays. Yesterday I wrote a resume which I'm going to go around distributing to various stores at Westfield. It wouldn't be half bad to work at a place like Typo.

But in all honesty I would rather tutor kids studying for the Opportunity Class and Selective School exams. It's one of the things I feel like I really get, crazy as that sounds.

..The reason being that I was one of these kids. I began the aforementioned intense academic coaching at the tender age of 8, back in year 3 - a weekly ritual which consisted of about 5 exams each lesson, altogether for 3 hours. You would swap your answers with the person in front of you, who would then call out your results to the entire room after marking each part. Everyone's marks would then be totaled on a whiteboard at the front of the room, to be released to the hungry parents who would burst in at the end to review all the scores, comparing their own child with everyone else in the class. It was very competitive, with lots of tears coupled with congratulatory murmurs spanning the little room.

It sounds worse than it was.

Actually, yeah it sounds really messed up.

But I felt it really contributed to my high selective school mark (and thus admission into my wonderful high school which I now miss very much upon graduation). How I got through it was I would sort of pretend it was a game - by the end I think I found myself enjoying it.

A sad way to spend my Saturdays.

However, I got quite good marks, a lot of times coming in 1st, 2nd or 3rd (chocolate prizes were given to these place-holders) in the class of 30, so that probably contributed to my rather passive, ligeglad (forgot the English word, replaced it with Danish - an awkward reversal of languages) view of the entire institution. My sister didn't fare so well, so she absolutely hated it. I probably wouldn't have been able to stand it either if I were her.

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, tutoring people.

You may wonder why I would want to contribute to such an institution. The whole process might seem rather barbaric to an outsider, forcing undue pressure onto young children who ought to be enjoying their childhood and running around with friends. God knows, there have been so many media articles criticising this particularly Asian trait from a certain columnist called Anna Patty (seen here putting a patronisingly great emphasis on the link between Asians and coaching colleges: http://www.smh.com.au/national/education/migrant-pupils-top-the-entry-tests-for-selective-schools-20100702-zu56.html)

I get that. But it is crucial to note major differences in the mindsets of these children, compared to what may pertain to the majority of the state. Whilst the latter may complain about their teachers and 'hate' learning at school, preferring instead to pursue other interests, the former tend to take on a more long-term approach, rather than focus on they would like the do right at that particular moment (play, obviously). Don't get me wrong, it's not like every time they'd willingly sit down and just do work - they are still children, after all - but always in the back of the mind there is a grudging acceptance that this needs to be done for future academic success. No matter how much I might have whinged, cried and complained, I knew that it was for my own benefit.

Perhaps this is simply the culture I grew up in.

So asking again, why would I want to support this industry?

I feel like I would have something positive to contribute to it. I certainly resent the overly critical culture surrounding coaching on the part of parents and those of the industry. One particular tutor told my sister she "shouldn't even be trying" for certain higher ranked selective schools.

They were right in the end, but regardless, to say it that bluntly to a child is abominable.

And that's exactly what I wouldn't do.

I really digressed a lot in this post.

It's because I'm bored.

Long story short, I need a fucking job.

Torn between choices

I wish UTS had USYD's international studies course.

It would make my life so much easier.

Sudden nostalgia

When it hits, it's really an interesting feeling.

Usually I'm triggered by a particular song or scent, and my mind suddenly goes reeling back to a time where I was immersed in it, no matter what I'm doing.

For example, listening to Alphabeat instantly transports me back to my room in Denmark, in the mornings where I'd put it on speaker every day before school, dancing whilst getting changed and putting on makeup. Hvor hyggeligt. Jeg savner det meget.

The song 'The Sun Ain't Shining No More' by the Asteroids Galaxy Tour reminds me of pretty dark times. This happens often. A lot of the time I can't really listen to a particular song or even album anymore because of this feeling.

A letter to teenage hormones.

Dear hormones,

You are just creating a really big problem for me because now I can't stop thinking about this one person.

But at least I don't need to feel guilty anymore about not thinking about the HSC instead. Which is a huge relief.

Still, I'm not exactly one of those Petrarchan lovers, in love with the notion of love. Really I'm quite the opposite. I hate being in love with someone or even just liking someone, because inevitably it will create pain. Arguably, yeah you've got to live and experience as much as you can in life, be it love, pain, whatever, who knows? But maybe I'm a coward. Maybe I'm just pessimistic. I mean the beginning's always awesome, but unless you're getting married and going to be with this person forever (an occurrence of a minute chance) it won't end well.

A side note: I love how guy issues are my biggest problem now, and not the HSC. That's a good sign that I'm becoming a normal functioning person with some semblance of a more typical social life, rather than one encompassing pretty much teacher fandom and that abusive relationship I had with the Board of Studies and HSC. I kid, but we do have some teacher hotties..

But anyway I digress, hormones. This is just so not cool. Please give me a break. I'll feed you with cookies.

Actually, no, I lied because now I'm on a diet. I hope you like celery sticks. And exercise.

The life of an unfit person

Far out okay, so about half an hour I went for a run. And then I fucking fainted. It was horrible.

How am I supposed to get in shape if this keeps happening????

It doesn't help that the weather's really fucking hot right now. This never happened when I exercised in Denmark because it was so nice and cold and snowy.

GIVE ME A BREAK AUSTRALIA.

Stupid people should not be allowed to use the internet

So here is a poll written by some ignorant conservative on Facebook.

'In Australia, if a pregnant woman is involved in a car accident because of a drunk driver and her unborn baby dies, the drunk driver will not be charged with the baby's death, just because it is not "breathing". If a pregnant woman is assaulted and the baby dies, the person that assaulted her will be charged with her assault, but not with the baby's death. Do you think there should be a law protecting unborn babies in Australia??

Answers:
- Definitely!!
- No it's not necessary.
- They should at least be considered.
- I'm not sure.'

And here is why stupid people should not be allowed to use the internet:

1. This is a ridiculously biased question in its syntax and unjustified appeal to pathos by creating a situation likely to induce emotion over logic. A thinly veiled attempt to lobby anti-choice ideology.

2. Problems with accuracy: it isn't because the unborn baby isn't 'breathing', but because it is not actually what is defined as a living being - you must take into account the stage of pregnancy the woman is in. The status of 'unborn baby' also refers to its existence as a clump of basic cells - hardly what anybody could call human. So when would the validation of this proposed law begin in the mother's womb?

3. This question shows a worrying ignorance of the criminal legal system. Those who cry in outrage about the heartlessness of those pro-choice and talk widely about the adverse mental effects such an experience has on expectant mothers seem to believe that the death of the unborn is simply discarded in court. Just because the crime does not qualify as manslaughter in itself does not mean the law treats the case as if the unborn baby never existed. It would surely become an aggravating factor leading to an increased penalty during sentencing - possibly fueled by a Victim Impact Statement from the mother - but it is not manslaughter.

4. (this is a point argued by one of my friends) If the woman is instructed not to smoke, drink, take drugs while pregnant and the baby dies, should she be charged with murder?

I implore people to start thinking before writing stupid things other people have to read and contend with.

I'm much too insecure

..for my own liking.

I think I really need to learn to trust myself because I worry way too much about detail, and then that leads to me getting really self-conscious. Is it possible to feel confident at the same time? At least, that's what I try to show exoterically.

In other news, I was asked to do a presentation about study/exam techniques for the coming ancient and legal classes. Quite flattered and it's going to be the most awesome presentation in the history of the universe, count on it.

The difference between 'smart' and 'book smart'

I don't think failure in assessments set by an educational institution necessarily renders you a complete dunce.

There are people who you can tell do possess some admirable level of intelligence just by entering a conversation with them, however cannot write an adequately satisfactory paper or answer questions in an exam to save their life. Or they may be extremely prone to basic spelling and grammatical errors (which I think is truly shameful, because surely it shouldn't be too difficult to obtain the knowledge base of a five year old learning the English language?).

Well either way, I often wonder at the reason to this.

I have bad taste in guys, which is why I have so many ex's

So this one guy I dated: he kept trying to hit on my friends, and it was (and still is) pathetic. So basically after he met them, he'd befriend them on Facebook. Nothing wrong with that, right? But then, even now (a year later), some new notification might appear on Facebook with him trying to flirt with them on their wall, and clicking on the 'See Friendship' link, you see a long list of him trying to instigate conversation, with them either not replying or giving clipped answers. It truly is rather pathetic, because they are a billion times out of his league.

I SHUDDER WITH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT EVERY TIME I SEE ONE OF THESE POSTS.

But also first-hand, because you know.. I dated this guy.

Pathetic fallacy

Reading back through my past posts in succession,

My emotions seem to change erratically.

Like the weather today.

That time when music means more to you than anything

They're usually the worst.

Minor seeking legal emancipation.

I wrote a letter along with a print-out from an anger management site and put it on my dad's bed, but after half an hour I gave in to overwhelming anxiety (to use the layman's term, 'chickened out') and took it back before he came upstairs. I guess the letter was good therapy for myself though. Like this blog, an articulation of my internal thoughts.

Booked my DKT exam today for Wednesday. Will finally be getting my license.

Also, a quote which made me laugh:
"I just don't understand why Christians tell Atheists they're going to hell - it's like, you're not getting this are you? You know, like you telling me I'm going to hell is like a hippie threatening to punch me in my aura." - Josh Thomas

HSC IS OFFICIALLY OVER

UM FUCK YES BEST DAY EVER

Although you know what, I have this unsettling feeling in the back of my mind that I should still be doing work. You have no idea how bad I feel for not doing work right now. I FEEL OBLIGATED TO WORK AND STUDY.. but there's nothing to study!

I think I did okay for legal. It was an easy exam, but I could have written much better essays for indigenous people and world order. I think a 95 should be possible, but I shouldn't jinx myself..

Freedom in approximately 25 hours and a descension into madness

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, so much is riding on my legal exam. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

I MUST GET FULL MARKS.

*crazy manic gleam in eyes*

FULL MARKS.

STATE RANKING.

FULL MARKS.

MUST GET.

WHY AM I EVEN ON HERE.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!